Tuesday, September 1, 2009

September 1, 2009: It begins again... again...

The time is upon us when the funny business switches to me and my crazy out of control obsession with the game of football.

"But oh wise and hilarious Coach," you cry. "Don't feel alone. There are many guys and gals across the country who are football obsessed."

Yes, I guess you are right. I'm not alone in liking football. But that doesn't stop me from being crazy.

I will plant myself in front of a Division III college game and be dead to the world rather than participate in it. Thank god for ESPN 8.

I will curse the name of a third string NFL wide receiver who I took on "upside" in a fantasy draft when he only catches 3 balls for 14 yards, and I will curse him as though he slept with my grandmother and gave me H1N1 for spite.

I will lose countless hours of productivity and cause friends to lose countless hours of productivity by messaging them at work to discuss football. And it will probably involve that Division III game.

I'm as interested in seeking a cure for this problem as I am in finding out which Jonas brother is going to be the next Spider-Man: not at freakin' all.

So I guess, in the end, I'm apologizing in advance for the funny business for the next few months possibly being a narcissistic exercise about me. Laugh at me all you want. I'll be too busy studying stat histories to notice...

PS - If you're a fantasy player drafting first in your league this year and you don't take Adrian Peterson, we are f***ing done professionally.

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