Monday, July 13, 2009: Guitar Heroes and Caption Fun

Extra funny business from Friday as well as the weekend today. Don’t say I never gave you anything…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31836977/ns/travel-news/?GT1=43001

I’m all about anyone who can take revenge on a corporation for lousy customer service. This guy did it in country music format. In itself, that’s torture enough.

Hell, just break down this guy’s claim to the company:
1) He saw your employees do it. So did someone in the seat behind him.
2) 3 of your other employees were told WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING and ignored it.
3) The item was taken immediately to the desk after landing and retrieval.

Now, where’s his song about technical support guys in foreign countries with incredibly gentrified names who can’t speak without a script?

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/31848258/ns/sports-olympic_sports/

Michael Phelps had to drop out of a race due to a sore neck. I guess all that feigned hanging your head over doing bong shots does take its toll after awhile…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31852963/ns/health-behavior/

I don’t know if I believe this study, but it says that swearing has a painkilling effect. I’ve been saying that for years, but I just got my mouth washed out with soap.

Unfortunately, it’s still another painkiller my Mormon friends can’t use . . .

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31888534/ns/us_news-life/

Des Moines may finally get around to appealing an old law forbidding dancing late at night. That’s right: finally it will be safe for Kevin Bacon to visit Iowa.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/13/sears.tower.ledge/index.html

Vertigo suffers need not apply: Check out the new enclosed “sky ledges” at the Sears Tower. Skip ahead to photo 3 and we’ll play “Caption This” with it. Leave a comment below and we’ll see what we can come up with.

My entry: “Little did Maggie know that there was a slot near the entrance that drops the bottom of the cage for a quarter.”

Bonus entry: “Skydiving for those afraid of parachutes.”

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/07/13/line.standers/index.html

Alright, this one is just LAME. Lobbyists are paying homeless people to hold their places in line for hearings. So it’s conceivable that one of these guys could be the guy who holds the seat for a lobbyist who convinces Congress to stop providing the funding to his homeless shelter and stops providing the payments that support the VA hospital who gives him his meds. This isn’t even really funny, it just pisses me off.

He who has the ability, the drive, and the funding can lock out all the rest…

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/14/arts/television/14arts-SEACRESTSTAY_BRF.html?_r=1

Alright, I lied. THIS is ten times lamer than the lobbyist thing. Seriously, how much money do you have to throw at the most inane, worthless show on television to “keep the magic going?”
It makes me like Randy Jackson if for no other reason than he’s not being unreasonable and keeping his trap shut while being happy doing what he’s doing.

To complain, call 1-866-FOX-BITES, or text in your vote to FOXBITES. Voting also available on Twitter by going @FOXBITES/GETALIFEANDSTOPUSINGTWITTERYOUTWIT.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10285281-71.html

Alright, back to funny. A girl has fallen down a manhole because she was too busy sending a text message to watch where her dumb ass was going. Remember kids, if you can’t walk and chew gum, there’s no way in HELL you should be walking and texting at the same time.

OMG, U R DUM. Send to all.

Back with more tomorrow, then off to Indianapolis for a week.